I am my DH's second wife and he has two teenage boys. I didn't come into their lives until they were ten and fourteen. Why on earht would I expect a mother's day card or gift from them? I am not their mom. Technically I am their stepmom but I really don't play that role with them. I am hands off when it comes to decisions about their schooling or discipline. As long as they are respectful when they visit, no problem. We have a nice relationship but I am not their mom!

I guess the difference between me and my friends is that they talk about 'parenting' as though it was an art or sport they were perfecting, like yoga or painting. They talk about "my parenting" or "the parenting technique / philosophy I use". For me, parenting isn't a "something" I do. It's just me raising my kids. I don't overthink it. I just love 'em and snuggle 'em, discipline them when necessary, and try to have fun. Just going with the flow.

Wow, I was just reading up on the latest scientific research on discipline on Pubmed (a government sponsored website that gives the public access to most peer-reviewed medical research.) I was pretty surprised at what they're finding. I'm sure not going go to start spanking DD3. We do ok with privilege removal. But it's good to know that if, sometime in the future a whack on the bottom seems like the only option, I don't have to feel guilty about it.

Oh I'm sorry honey - I simply to not buy into your implication that it's my fault that our child has written in marker on furniture when I'm the only one in this house who actually disciplines.

Dear TJMaxx employee. Yes, my 2 yo DD threw herself on the floor and started crying when you said she had to leave the puppy she was carrying when we went in to the bathroom. No that does not mean she's spoiled. She picked out that puppy for our neighbor's new baby (HER idea) and she just didn't understand that she would get it back and she was very overtired. HER toys fit into 1 single basket. She says please and thank you and enjoys giving to others. She is consistently and firmly disciplined. She is NOT spoiled and you should mind your own gawdamn business next time.

Having trouble with DS15 lying and sneaking behind my back. My DH, his father, is not helpful at all with discipline. DH likes doing all the fun things with our sons, but does not like correcting them. Which leaves it all on me, and I feel like they think that am the biggest b***h. Did not realize that I was going to be a single parent. I really resent DH for not helping more.

Many years ago, before he had kids, a male relative of mine thought I was too hard on my kids. Now I have well behaved teens/preteens and I have a great relationship with my kids because I disciplined them and had bedtimes etc. Now that he has kids, he's learned the hard way. But he's learned so that's good. I knew he would so I was never really upset with what he said about my parenting. I just took it as someone who didn't know.

We live in the country, lots of land, nobody near by, big farm house. Tons of space. My DH and I want to open a retreat for troublesome kids. I really think that, given 2 weeks with a hard to discipline kid, we could turn it around for parents. We're strict but extremely loving and supportive. I expect nothing but hard work. Respect is earned. We are deliberate parents. I really wish we could do this, as I would love to help parents with their kids. I was a very troubled kid, so I have a bit of insight too.

Unless your child has ODD, they can be disciplined. You just aren't trying hard enough. Stop with the excuses. There's something you are doing wrong, or something you did wrong in the past that makes it so your child does not respect your authority. Lay down the law, follow through, and don't back down. Yes, it really is that easy.

I really do try not to judge parents, but sometimes I can't help it. I get that kids have minds of their own and you can put in your best effort and still things could backfire when it comes to discipline. But if I see a parent who doesn't back up their words with actions, or who doesn't follow through with consequences, I can't help judging. "If you do that one more time, we're going home and you're not getting your ice cream cone. ..... Please stop doing that? Please? ...... Okay, no ice cream for you! ..... Stop that NOW! ..... If you behave, I'll buy you a cookie! How about that?" Ugh.