On April Fool's day last year, I gave my DD a bowl of cereal that had been in the freezer. It didn't phase her too much, but it was a HILARIOUS trick to play on the dog & cat. We also stuffed tissue paper in the toes of her friends shoes at daycare. And I put a small post-it under the optical mouse of a co-worker. I'm trying to think of a way to get DH this year.

I took my kids out of preschool. I want them to have a year or so to just be home and enjoy it. They were in daycare from 1 month old til 4 years old. These past 6 months have been so fun for them. We have adventures everyday. I'm so glad I took them out. I love spending time wit them. I'm going to be sad when they go to kindergarten.

We should all make our kids wear masks so no one gets sick. I can't help it if one of mine does get sick anyway. Yup, off they go to daycare with the sniffles - because I am out of sick days, too. It isn't the plague - it's a cold.

FFS people, if you have two kids in the same daycare and one of them is throwing up, keep BOTH of them home. One is already sick and the other is a carrier to every other kid in the place. How fucking lazy can you be? I seriously hope DD doesn't catch this one. Due to others' lack of consideration, I am completely out of sick time. So is DH and we have no family or friends to help if we have to work and we will get written up for taking unpaid leave. Fuck fuck fuck.

I made a few what I thought were witty one-liners while chatting with DS's daycare teachers this morning. His teachers said they wish I could hang out with there all day and be the comic relief they so desperately need sometimes in a room with 17 2 1/2 to 3 year olds. It made me feel good - not everyone gets my sense of humor.

I don't know what to do with my 5 year old. I keep finding pictures and videos he's taken of himself and his genitals on my cell phone and camera. I'm a single parent so I know it was not me or any other adult who took them and he is never left with anyone except my ex husband who I know without a shadow of a doubt would never do anything like that to him either. No baby sitters, no daycare, just us. Ruling out sexual abuse as a cause, is this something that kids just do sometimes? I'm at my witt's end with it. He's done it a few times now and despite getting into trouble it just continues.

Sometimes I look at my 4yo and I think I hate how you make everything so difficult. I hate that you cannot just say ok and listen to a direction. I hate that even my own parents don't want to babysit you or anyone else. I hate that I feel so alone. Dr.s, a therapist and his daycare teachers all tell me he's "normal" but I just don't feel like this defiance is. He's my first so I'm learning but I feel like I'm failing.

Sometimes it's financially stupid for both spouses to work. Pick any economically depressed area, take minimum wage pay (a large percentage of Americans don't have an actual career but instead work everyday jobs), then deduct daycare (times it by how many kids you have), money for gas, extra clothing and food for the job, the fact that you have to pay more in taxes if it puts you in another bracket, and one spouse is essentially paying to have the other go to work. It's just not logical.

When I worked in daycare we had this little infant who ALWAYS had an erect penis. Every time we changed him, he was like that. I know it's common for them to get them every now and then, especially when they first wake up but this was all the freaking time. We called him Stiffler. I don't even remember his real name.

I wish I could quit being a SAHM and get a job, daycare is way too expensive