Instead of buying your daughter much needed clothes, you buy yourself makeup from MAC. Your child looks like a bebe kid and you still look like a man.

Stop calling your 3 yr old DD a pig. YOU feed her Kraft Mac N cheese for breakfast and lunch and dinner. Throw in some cheetos and fruit snacks (not real fruit) and that is what she eats ALL day long. Feeding her 6 pieces of pieces and laughing about it doesn't help.

Day 1 of my diet should not be when I am pmsing.

When an old person dies (in their late 80s or older), I don't feel sad. I happy for them b/c I know they are at peace. Everyone that I know that lived this long has some kind of health problem(s). I don't cry, its kind of sweet knowing their at peace. If a young person (under 50) or child passes, I bawl like a baby.

I eloped. More b/c of family politics than anything else. I have 1 DD and she will be an only child. She is two. My confession? I already started up a savings account for her wedding and it would kill me inside if she eloped. I am the bigger person b/c I would tell her if she is happy, I am happy.

Dear brides, If you are going to try on wedding dresses, please wear panties. Its company policy that I help you in and out of your dress. I don't your ass in my face. And its just gross thinking of you trying on someone's wedding gown without any one.

Everyone realizes how much you hate your daughter. Talking about having another one doesn't make people like you more.

My brother in law gave us a box of freaking cookies as a wedding gift. I can't wait for him to get married so I can give him a box of cookies.

My brother molested/raped me when I was younger. He killed himself a long time ago. I am relieved b/c he if he was still alive today, I don't know if I would be. Maybe that makes me a bad person but I am glad he is dead.

Dear Lady, You emailed me asking about interviewing times and I emailed you right back and its been four hours. Its killing. Please email me back. Yep, I'm impatient.

Riley Swayer (Baby Grace) mother's conviction was upheld. I wonder why that monster was able to have two healthy babies and I can only have one. Its so unfair sometimes.

You walked all the way from your desk to mine to ask me to put in a page break in your word document while I am trying to reconcile a 4 year old account? Sometimes, I wonder how you graduated college.