I'm kind of sad that people think I look "SOOooOoo much nicer" with my hair straightened. Kinky curls are what come out of my head. God made me that way, that's just what I look like. I think it's beautiful but, apparently, straight hair is just "better."

I deliberately walk with a hint of goofy naivete, because I know that if I walked the way my hips try to, I'd attract too much attention. Men would stare, and women would just be angry.

I splashed bacon grease on my arm the other day, and now I have all these dark brown spots where I fried myself, and one red patch of blistered skin. I feel like I look diseased.

I'm so bitter today. Ugh, I hate everybody and everything and I just want to eat dry cinnamon toast crunch and be by myself.

I love my son soo soo soo soo much. An absolute angel sometimes. He's so beautiful. Even at his brattiest, he's not that bad. Lovely, lovely child. Thank you Lord, for him! Thank you so much!

OMG, I love that Pampers Swaddlers commercial.

I would honestly rather see Justin Timberlake & Mila Kunis in a movie about having sex, than Natalie Portman & Kutcher. They're hotter people, in my opinion.

Made my son a smoothie this morning. I usually use frozen fruit, apple/orange juice, plain yogurt, & agave nectar. Maybe a splash of 100% aloe vera juice, too. Well, all I had today was aloe juice and frozen berries. Blended that, sweetened with honey, gave him with his breakfast. 2 hours later, poop was leaving his butt without permission. :-[ Just thought I'd let you guys know in case you need a natural laxative idea...

I used to intern for a lawyer who had his own practice, and he had clients files scattered, LITERALLY, all over the office. Under desks, stuck BEHIND file cabinets, wide open on the conference table with contents spilling on the floor. And then he'd tell me to go "find the Such & Such folder." After 2 hours, I'd find it and he'd send me to go find the missing sticky note that had been inside.

We just break up over and over and over again. We don't even bother getting back together in-between anymore...

My ex used to fart around me all the time and let me know that I could freely do so also. It was nice not having to hold it and be embarrassed, but I really hated his farting because he had to pass gas often and he was always like, oddly proud of himself. It was gross and annoying after a while. Meanwhile, my OH would die of embarrassment if he accidentally pooted around me or anyone else, and looks so disappointed in me and disgusted if I let one slip. Is there no happy medium??

DS got 2 new teeth on the top. He looks adorable, but they're rubbing on my nipple while he nurses, and I can barely stand to feed him from the left side. I'm determined to wait it out, but I haven't had this much discomfort since our thrush episode.