I got stung by a yellow jacket today. A few times. On the palm of my hand. DH was taking care of me. I was in horrible pain. He came back into the living room having just gotten me some Benedryl. He handed me the pills, I looked at them and said, "Honey Buns, this is laxative. I don't think having the shits is going to help my hand any." Yeah, he's that goofy.

Dear Kotex-- As bright and colorful as your new tampons are..And as excited as I was to try them out..THEY SUCK! Every time I go to insert one the applicator pops in half and 9 times out of 10 I have to fish it out of the toilet. Please fix this. Until then, I remain a Tampax Pearl girl. Which sucks, cause the onliest color they offer is blue. But I'll take blue tampons over fishing around in the toilet any day.

My bedroom smells like marijuana.

I feel completely useless. Tonight the DH told me that if he weren't with me he'd be going out more. Doing more stuff. Like bungee jumping & sky diving. Snorkeling. He thinks I keep him from doing all those things. I feel like shit. I never stop him, I just can never go do any of these things. I'm stuck with kids 24/7. Nor do I really have any interest in these kinds of things. But I wouldn't stop him. I've encouraged him to go do these things. But now I'm the bad guy?

My son thinks he can "Wish on the tooth fairy" to give him certain specific things for his teeth after he loses them. For example, he's VERY obsessed with trains. His last tooth, he wished he could ride on a flying train in the night sky. He couldn't wait to go to bed that night so he could get his wish fulfilled. Yes. He truly believed it would happen. How in the hell can we have Santa/Tooth Fairy fun if the things he wants are impossible for me to give and do? BTW he's 8!

I'd cheat on my husband with Eminem.