I smell like maple syrup and I think it's hilarious.

One of my friends told me that my post baby tummy stretch marks look like flames. I think they look like Wolverine went to town on my skin but the flame explanation is way cooler. I guess that's to match my burn scars on my back.

I'm sitting here reading body confessions while snacking on pizza. I was wondering why I'm not losing more weight. Duh, it's the junky food. My excuse is that I'm still producing milk for my baby. That's a good excuse, right? =P

I could be thinner if I gave up all the Mexican food I keep eating but that's all I crave since I had DS. So I'll stick with my pudgy belly since my weight is okay because the food is just too good to give up. Mmm...

The only way I can throw up is if I have a fever so high that I'm almost unconscious or so dehydrated that I can't see straight. I don't even throw up when I have food poisoning. WTF body? I can count on one hand the number of times that I've ever thrown up. Weird...

I didn't know if I would accept if he asked me to marry him until the birth of our son. Now I know that when we're ready, my answer will be yes. Our son has my last name but I would gladly change it along with mine if we married.

My cousin is having a childfree wedding. She said that she would be happy to have my DS there (he will be 8 weeks old at the time of the wedding). I fully intend to take her up on this offer so I hope she wasn't just saying it to be polite. I will be horrified if she secretly resents me for doing this. I'm stressed out at the idea of it.

Even though my ex-fiance broke off our engagement in 2008, my finger still doesn't feel right without the ring and I freak out whenever I notice that it's "missing".

DS is 10 months and finally starting to get into solid food more and more. His poop now smells like old people's houses. (I really did try to find a nicer way to say that but couldn't come up with anything.) It makes me laugh whenever I change his diaper and think about the circle of life.

I've always looked back on DS's birth with a bit of disappointment because I was ignored by the nurses almost the entire time. I pushed DS out, had him on my chest for literally 5 seconds, and then he was swaddled and put down. Everyone walked out of the room and didn't return for 30 minutes. I didn't even know if I could pick DS up. Turns out that there was a woman in cardiac arrest while giving birth and they had to use the crash cart on her multiple times as soon as her kid was out. DBF didn't have the heart to tell me until yesterday. Now I feel guilty for being upset about it.

I can't sleep without my ears covered by either a blanket or my hair.

DBF has given DS 10mo small licks of caramel and I haven't stopped him. Of course it makes DS's eyes light up. It seems to be his favorite treat. Dammit.

DBF's mom lectures her daughter to stay home with any future kids because "it's the best thing you can do for them" even though she has a high paying career that she loves. At the same time, she lectures me about getting a job even though I would actually be losing money by putting DS in daycare in this high class Montessori only area of town on a retail job wage. We just don't have enough money for daycare. I would mind the lectures less if she would just pick a side! Of course she just does this because she doesn't like me. I do what's best for DS but she doesn't seem to care about that.

I used to call in sick every single Saturday. I didn't even realize I was doing it because I worked 7 days a week. They started keeping track and assumed that I was lying to get out of working. Really, it was that my Friday night shift kicked my ass and made it impossible to work Saturday morning. We're not all fakers. Sometimes we just need a day off once a week.

I absolutely hate Valentine's Day. It is the worst holiday ever.

My ex was not extremely good to me but when he called me little girl or baby girl, it made my heart sing. No one else's nicknames for me make me feel that way.

BF has a sex addiction. I love sex and he would never cheat. He wants it around 3 times a day. I don't mind him jerking off or watching porn. I'm just getting really nervous around him because he'll start touching me at random times with no notice or anything. I don't hate sex but this is honestly making me want it less. Sex is amazing when I want it but having it so much is kind of boring and frustrating.

I think BF is gorgeous and you would never hear me say otherwise but his new buzzcut makes it so much more obvious how overweight he is. I guess before I was distracted by his beautiful curls. *sigh* He's happy because it helps his dandruff so I'm trying to be happy with him.

I lost my virginity to a woman. Up until that point, I wasn't sure I was bi. Yep. I'm sure. =P