My "Con"Census...
Today, I filled out the census form. Instead of checking off each box for our mixed race family, I just marked the box for "some other race" and wrote "American" in the space provided.
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/528783
Two Birds, One Stone
Tonight I let my three year old son sit on the toilet and eat fruit snacks while he pooped.
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/527483
Booty-Rella
My sister told me I could never play Cinderella at Disney World because my nose is too big. Well, her butt is too big.
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/528781
Sophie Can Suck It
Dear Sophie the Giraffe pretentious teething toy: You claim to be from France, you cost $20 and we got three of you for gifts. Yet, you are seriously scary looking, hard for my baby to hold and chew, and you are basically a cheap lame-ass plastic squeaky toy. So I have renamed you "Charlene the Trailer Trash Giraffe". I like you much more now!
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/528502
Down, Boy!
Pretty sure my 1yo is humping my leg.
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/527744
Miss Walmart 2010
For the love of all thats holy! Child, we are going GROCERY shopping! You don't need to wear Sunday best and do your makeup! Just put your shoes on, not the peep toes, just the tennis shoes, and quit fiddling with your makeup! You're 6, its Walmart. Im sure no one will notice that you're wearing last seasons skirt from the clearance rack at Kmart! LMAO! Sigh, kids. :)
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/528457
Kung Fu Mama
My 6 year old came barreling over to the bench at the park yelling "Mom, I finally did it! I went down the fireman's pole!" I've never seen him so proud of himself! The woman sitting next to me says "Really? my *****'s been doing that since he was 3!" It took everything in me, to not go full on Chuck Norris on her ass.
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/528058
Let them eat...
can't.stop.eating.cake.
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/528071
High as a Noodle...
Ate spaghetti and marinara today...with giardiniera mixed into the sauce. I never ate spaghetti with giardiniera before. Let me say, if everyone on the planet ate this at least once a week...wars would end, flowers would bloom and the sun would shine every single day. It's. That. GOOD!
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/528017
Mysterious Office Man
I've invented a fictional research person in my department. Whenever someone demands something from me anytime prior to 2008, I tell them that the research clerk will have to go over to archives to pull it for them. I think I will call my clerk "Phil"
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Office/confession/153677
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