Sweeeeeet.
How to eat a Butterfinger candy bar successfully: Put Butterfinger in freezer for 10 minutes. Remove Butterfinger. Break Butterfinger into approximately 5 equal parts. Remove Butterfinger wrapper. Enjoy Butterfinger without buttery fingers and a crumbly mess.
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/521885
I Pledge Allegiance...
Dear 16 Month Old: Listen. I know you love flags. They are pretty magical, aren't they? And I'm proud of you for identifying them every time we see one. Well, almost. Let's practice. It's pronounced "flag." Fllllaaaag. Like I've been saying for the past 16 months or so. Flag. Not "cock." Please stop reverently stage-whispering "COCK" every time we see a flag. How do you even make that linguistic leap? You are kind of weird. Love, Mama.
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/521858
The Kindness of Strangers
You know you're a mother when a stranger peels a teeny-tiny static-clung sock off your back!
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/521855
Oh, DH...
Before my DH eats corn, he waves to it and says, "See ya later!" Gross, I know, but it cracks me up every time.
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/521825
Thanks for Nothin'!
I received the most generic thank you card from a neighbor who's baby shower I attended a while ago. It said, "Thank you for the diaper bag and toys. I'm sure it will get used." This is the same shower that on the invitation under where she was registered it read, "Please include gift receipts". And in case you're wondering, I didn't include one.
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/521818
Love you, but....
No DH, you cannot use my $150 face serum. Are you kidding me? I love you, but no.
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/521792
It's Worth a Shot
I wonder if I go in my bosses office and say I sharted myself if I would get to go home.
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Office/confession/152519
Add this one to the list...
Adding this to things I never thought I would say " Honey that's the cats penis, leave it alone!"
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/521777
Booger Patrol
Right now I'd give anything to get that giant booger out of DS's nose. FREAKING HOLD STILL!!!
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Mom/confession/521532
The Office- For Real.
Too often I feel like my boss is Michael Scott and I am Ryan the intern. She has me do the most inane things for her.
http://www.truuconfessions.com/channels/Office/confession/152566
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