Welcome to this weeks Ask a Mod! You ask, and we answer? Got a question or feedback for this site? Post a confession with the keyword MODS (yes, it must have the S) and it will be featured in next weeks blog!
If you are posting a question about a specific confession that was or was not posted. Please include a keyword FROM that confession. If I don't know what confession you're asking about, I can't tell you why it was or wasn't posted.
Q: Hi mods -- trueNUMBERDELETED on the office board seems to be a response to NUMBERDELETED
A: Thanks for the heads up! The post has been removed
Q: Mods I posted three confessions in the body section yesterday and only one got through. The other two were about spotting with an iud, and really bad cramps when ovulating. I did ask if anyone else has these problems too, bu I still think they should have gone through since I wasn't asking for advice, simply whether others have been through it too. It really sucks that you don't let certain confessions through for such petty reasons, yet you'll let through posts that blatantly break the rules or attack another member, or post the same one up to 3 times.
A: Thank you for asking, and providing details so I could look into this :). There are three reasons all three of your posts did not get through. First, and most importantly, your posts did not just ask if anyone else had gone through that, you asked how long it would last. With medical questions in particular we're a LOT more picky about how it's phrased advice wise. Technically, if you're asking if anyone else has experienced a medial problem, you're asking for advice and confirmation that what you're going through is normal. I imagine you'd be annoyed if you posted if anyone else went through it and all you got back were yes's, and no's, with no elaboration. With the additional question, it's not just conversational sympathy you're requesting, it's a specific response about a medical issue. So I'm not allowed to post it UNLESS I make it the talk of the day.
Which one of your posts were. If it did not show up as such to you, let me know and I'll republish. We've been having some issues with the talk of the day changing over lately.
The second reason all three would not get through, even if we allowed advice seeking confessions, is that they were essentially duplicate confessions. You provided three very similar confessions in a row, one of which would already show up twice for being a talk of the day and in the regular confessional. We try to avoid duplicates. And since I'm a person and not a program, I can tell that the confession "I want my ball." "I want my red ball." and "I want my big red ball." Are the same confession, despite the slight extra detail provided. I tried to use the one that provided the most detail as the Talk of the Day.
As for the third reason it would not have been published, even if it wasn't a duplicate, and even if it wasn't seeking advice, because it wasn't technically a confession. It was a question.
I hope that clears it up :) I wasn't being petty, I was following the directions I was given from my boss. As for the post that went through three times, that was a glitch. It self corrected with the next update. Without specifics about any posts that attack another member or blatantly disregard the rules, I'm going to have to assume you're talking about prior talks of the day, which don't show up on top but are mixed in with the other confessions.
Q: Mods why did my dirty sex question get deleted?
A: Same reason as above. Only in this case someone flagged it and it was removed by the users before I was even made aware of it.
Q: Dear Mods, Removing the option to disallow comments and allow anonymous commenting would probably eliminate response confessions.
A: Thank you for the feedback. We're never going to disallow comments. In fact we're more likely to remove comments from the board entirely than cease to make them optional. We're never going to allow anonymous commenting, because we don't have time/nor is our website set up to filter the comments. We're not a fan of users attacking another user, and unfortunately, very few of our response confessions can be read any other way. Based on the comments we see now, where people are being somewhat civil because their "name" is attached to it, I would frankly be afraid of how mean people would get in the comments. And considering those response comments you don't see where those anonymous confessors are name calling, cursing, and calling confessors some version of stupid, we've made the right choice.
Q: My confessions never get posted but the nasty hateful ones seem to always get through. Thanks a lot mods!! I see where your interests are!!
A: Without examples of either the confessions that you feel should have gotten through, or the ones you feel shouldn't have, I can't really offer an explanation. I promise you though, I'm pretty anti-hateful.
Q: I confess to wondering about the Mods' biases towards certain topics. Most of my confessions get posted. However anytime I mention that i think. "People of Walmart" is cruel that will NEVER get posted. Also if I say how much I detest any references to "panties" ......THAT will never get posted. Those are just two pet peeves of mine that I guess are deemed unacceptable.
A: Can I just say that confessions like yours make me ridiculously happy. I'm happy to work behind the scenes because I DO get to see those response confessions to things like, "I love people of walmart," or any other site dedicated to poking fun at people. Unfortunately, your posts are considered responses, so however much I want to, I'm not allowed to post them. Confessions about disliking a certain word are ALWAYS responses, because that word is going to have been posted in someone else's confession. You may not have intended it to be a response, but it might hurt someone's feelings. Panties is a pretty common word on the mom board because of the sheer amount of potty training going on.
Q: MODS - I think someone felt neglected and ignored. Duplicate entries in MOM: NUMBERSDELETED. The same DETAILSDELETED
A: I'm only going to post this version of this question. Thank you for the heads up. Strangely enough when I went back to look for this after finishing my update, the post was only showing up once. I don't know what happened there. I only hope it doesn't happen again.
Q: Mods please go look at NAMEDELETED comments they are getting really out of line.
A: Thanks for the heads up. I've sent a warning to this person and will keep an eye on their comments. If they keep it up they'll be removed from the website.
Q: I think the mods are playing favorites again
A: I'd have to know who you were to play favorites. I really wish there was a way to import a screen shot of the back end to the blog. I can't SEE your user name unless I take the extra time to look on the opposite end of the page. Taking that time would double the amount of time it takes me to do an update because I'd have to do it for EVERY confession, most of which would end up being anonymous. I don't know many people who are petty enough to make their job more difficult for the sake of playing favorites, but I'm not one of them.
Q: Mods, why the fuck did you post about a mother getting off molesting her own son with poison ivy cream? What's WRONG with you???
A: Okay, I searched back through and found it. That post was flagged and pulled down pretty shortly after it went up. I'm not sure how that got through. Major apologies. Yuck!
Q: mods, confessor here who's comments are always getting deleted...i know it's b/c some ppl don't like me. i know b/c i also have another screen name, and when i comment under that name and say basically the same thing as under my real name, they don't get deleted. i really hope you're not just deleting without reading...if there's nothing wrong with the comment besides a differing opinion, then they should NOT be deleted. same goes for any one, not just me.
A: I don't delete comments unless someone brings them up in the confessional and asks me to look into it using a user name. I can't search keywords in comments. I can't filter by confessions. I click the comments portion of the website and I see every single comment for every single post on one page. Without context it's impossible for me to tell when someones violating the rules unless they get really really mean. Frankly, with the amount of comments made per minute on that site, it's unlikely I'd see it unless I searched by user name. If you're comments are getting removed it's because they're being flagged by SEVERAL different users. It can't be the same person on the same computer.
Q: MODS do you have an ethics policy in place? Suddenly very curious about this. Where would you draw the line if a post share information regarding a crime? People share that they do drugs or abuse prescription medication all the time and I don't think you have a responsibility to contact authorities yet i feel differently about a confession or series of confessions that reveal child abuse or potentially worse activities. Where do you draw the line in the sand ethically and what are your protocols for notifying authorities?
A: Truuconfessions is your anonymous best friend. We have no way of finding out who you are from your posts. If you post with a user name we have your email, if you post anonymously we have nothing. I'm there are ways to find out more, but I certainly don't know them. Who would we report it to anyway? I don't know which city, state, or even country our users are from. That's why we don't post about illegal activity, well unless it's from the victims stand point, because there's nothing we can DO about it.
Q: Dear Mods, I think you need to sit down together and re-write the forum rules for clarity and consistency. Then I think you need to recruit a few volunteer moderators to help you control each forum. I think all confessions should allow comments. I think we should be able to post anonymous comments. I love this forum, but the leadership and moderation is lacking consistency and fairness. Thank you for the work you do.
A; Thank you for your advice. I don't have control of the copy on this website. But I can forward your request for clearer rules to Romi. Be warned that clearer rules removes a lot of my flexibility. Right now I can post a lot that probably shouldn't go through. As an example, for clarities sake no advice might become no questions, because technically a question isn't a confession.
Workload wise, the confessions can be handled entirely by one person. And that allows for more consistency. When we had more mods we had more responses getting through because it's simply not practical to set everyone up on one channel. We also had some mods who would let some things slide, and some mods that wouldn't, so people got angry over what they saw as preferential treatment.
We also can't pull volunteers from people who read this website because then we might actually HAVE preferential treatment. The people who are on enough to be able to volunteer for one channel ALL day long, which is what we would need for consistency, are the people who are on this website ALL day long, and respond to everything. We can't ask our users to stop using the website so they can volunteer, and we can't erase their knowledge of the users of this site to allow for an unbiased approach. Several of the people we'd consider recruiting have pointed out in comments and confessions they can tell when a frequent user posts anonymously just by their writing style. Also volunteering is sticky business wise. All the volunteer moderator positions Truu has offered in the past (a very rare exception, generally someone who knows someone who is already back here) have lead to paying jobs or really biased moderating. The backend of this website is our business. We have user email addresses, IP addresses, advertising content, employment information, we really couldn't just let anyone back here.
As I posted above, enabling comments for all posts and allowing anonymous comments will NEVER happen unless the users of this website change drastically. There's no judgement there. The behavior we see on truu is reflected all around the internet. We're not set up to be a forum so we can't do it like "insert example website here that does it perfectly and never has any issues" without a MAJOR redesign, and Romi has expressed pretty strongly that she doesn't want truu to be a forum. It's a confessional.
I'm sorry mistakes are made, and responses get through. I'm sorry you don't feel I'm being consistent or fair. I'll try harder, but realistically, mistakes will be made.
Q: Dear MODS: I am completely *appalled* that you would advertise for ashleymadison.com!! "life is short, have a affair." Really?? How low can you go to advertise cheating on your spouse? I love Truu, but I just lost respect for you guys. We read so much about how women are finding out their spouses are cheating, and here you are FULLY supporting it, by letting a website that promotes and supports cheating within a marriage. Shame on you!!
A: I have no control over our advertising network. I don't think anyone on this website does. My understanding is that based on the traffic and comments on this site, and web clicks generated, some random algorithm decides that ads pop up where. The best way to control it from your end is to click on ads you like and ignore ones that don't. I'd say don't click on any, but that won't tell them what to put. It'll just be void information. If there are ads you can stand, click them and we'll get more of those.
Q: MODS-does "the talk" of the day, have to be a confession that allows comments?
A: It should. I can't see if it allows comments from my end. So if it doesn't let me know and I can go in and change it.
Thank you for all your questions and feedback. Want to contribute? Post a confession with the keyword MODS in it, and your confession will be featured in next weeks Ask a Mod